Many negotiation professionals underestimate the power of active listening; yet its skilled application can dramatically increase success rates.
Active listening techniques help uncover hidden interests and foster a collaborative environment which allows for creative solutions to conflicts. Furthermore, it establishes rapport and builds trust.
Listening to the Other Party’s Point of View
Negotiations is about understanding each party’s perspective; this helps build trust, uncover hidden interests and identify options that satisfy both sides. Unfortunately, many negotiators miss this goal by failing to utilize active listening effectively.
Active listening involves actively and deliberately tuning into what the speaker is saying. This can be accomplished using nonverbal cues such as eye contact and body language, along with verbal strategies like paraphrasing or asking clarifying questions to gain more information from them. Furthermore, active listening requires eliminating distractions to create an environment which promotes calmness and focus.
Active listeners must focus on more than the content of what their speaker is saying – active listening requires understanding their feelings and emotions as well. For example, when someone is angry it is important to avoid making comments which could be perceived as judgmental or offensive (Robertson 2005). Anger also can prevent effective problem solving from taking place by shutting off dialogue altogether and precluding efforts at finding solutions (Robertson 2005).
Integrating these practices into any negotiation situation can significantly increase its odds of success. Research indicates that negotiations involving high-quality listening are nearly three times more likely to produce an agreement satisfying both parties than negotiations without this key communication skill. No matter whether it be asking your boss for more pay or signing on new clients, using soft skills like listening can make all the difference between winning and losing negotiations.
Uncovering Hidden Interests
Negotiators often become too focused on selling their position to fully comprehend what concerns and feelings their counterpart is communicating. Therefore, practicing active listening techniques early in a negotiation will provide more of an understanding of what each party may be trying to communicate.
Paraphrasing (Robertson, 2005) is an effective technique used to paraphrase another’s statement by summarizing their meaning through phrases such as: “as I understand it, you are saying that _____”. Another powerful tactic for providing feedback involves restating what they just said using different words – this shows them you understand their perspective and address their issues accordingly.
Acknowledging can also be an effective tactic. Acknowledging involves showing someone else you have heard them and have understood their concerns, often by restating what was just said back into your own words; it shows empathy towards the other party (Rogers 1987).
As you incorporate these techniques into your negotiations, be mindful to monitor your judgments. If they interfere with active listening skills, take some time to think about ways you could hone them further.
Building Rapport
Communication success depends heavily on developing rapport. When it comes to negotiations, trust-building and creating a productive atmosphere are two vital components. One way of creating positive rapport with others is active listening: this involves maintaining eye contact, nodding your head as you understand, paraphrasing what the speaker said back out for clarification, or asking pertinent questions to demonstrate understanding.
Empathizing with the other party’s thoughts and emotions is also central to active listening, and requires true compassion for their situation. This kind of empathetic understanding stems from unconditional positive regard, where you believe, support, and recognize their worth regardless of words spoken or actions taken against them.
Negative emotions are inevitable during negotiations, yet it’s crucial that they stay under control to prevent derailments of discussions and the stifling of creativity. Exercising emotional intelligence and learning self-monitoring techniques will enable you to remain calm, empathetic, and rational throughout negotiations.
Negotiations is often marked by narrow-minded focus and blind spot; to reach success it’s essential that underlying interests be revealed and solutions identified that meet everyone’s needs. Listen carefully and actively while adhering to the principles of excellent negotiation: building rapport, creating shared visions, uncovering hidden interests and reaching mutually beneficial agreements.
Gaining Insight into the Other Party’s Thoughts and Feelings
From purchasing an umbrella at the corner store to discussing a multimillion-dollar contract, most negotiations require complex strategies and strategic thinking. A skilled negotiator should be able to quickly adapt plans as circumstances alter for successful deals.
Understanding and empathizing with another party’s thoughts and feelings are the cornerstones of successful negotiations, and understanding this requires active listening; an array of communication skills that include mindfulness and paraphrasing. Mindfulness involves paying full attention when someone speaks; not daydreaming or interrupting, observing body language without judgment, observing their body language while not interrupting; then paraphrasing what has been said so as to show understanding while providing empathy towards their message.
Effective negotiators demonstrate a genuine caring attitude for the speaker’s thoughts and emotions, reflecting unconditional positive regard. Furthermore, they refrain from judging or dismissing them; often this takes form by nodding and saying “uh huh” when agreeing – though more subtle techniques may also work.
Negotiators should avoid providing solutions for another’s issues (Robertson, 2005). While suggesting solutions may seem supportive and helpful at first, this can actually serve as an impediment to finding their own solutions and feel empowered by coming up with their own ways to overcome problems while offering their support for these initiatives.
